May is Black Mental Health Awareness Month
Image and quote by @quotesbychristie
Can I be vulnerable here? 2020 almost took me out.
In the months before the pandemic hit, I looked at 2020 with expectation. I made lists. I set goals. I took risks (like officially starting this business). I did all of these things because, if I’m honest, I already felt like something had to give. Like many people, I regularly juggled so many responsibilities that I felt like a circus act. Sometimes, the things I juggled felt like bowling balls. Or maybe torches. What was I juggling? Motherhood responsibilities. Being a good wife and partner. Church duties. A toxic work environment. The thought of the juggling act began to evolve from an internal monologue with the details of all my various lists to a constant buzz (side note - it reminded me of the intro to Penitentiary Philosophy on Erykah Badu’s album Mama’s Gun, one of my favorites of all time).
So when 2020 came, I knew it was going to be my year. I mean, I wrote things down and made plans so everything had to work out, right? Right?!
In December of 2019 when I started to hear rumblings of a disease ravaging China, I felt a knot in the pit of my stomach. I thought back to days when SARS, Zika, or Ebola dominated the news cycle. In those days, the national response seemed to keep us all safe. But this was a new day. So I watched and waited and by mid-January, I started checking my medical supplies and pantry, knowing my family and I may need to keep ourselves safe for a bit. And to be clear, 2020 was not the first time I felt the need to protect myself or my loved ones due to the failures of systems. Still, something about this time felt different.
I am also very familiar with that knot in the pit of my stomach. Like so many Black women, I am no stranger to the hyper vigilance of constant survival mode. At times, the knot in my stomach can grow and bloom, but usually I’m able to manage, running through my lists and trying to maintain tight control. In 2020, when that knot began to expand it didn’t just grow it erupted, turning first to panic, and then a dark depression. And in late May of 2020, images of Ahmaud Arbery and George Floyd’s murders appeared all over the television. The story of Breonna Taylor’s murder IN HER SLEEP caused me to wonder how safe my family and I were at home. Everything felt heavy and void of light. I had no sense of an end in sight. The danger of COVID was unfamiliar and undefined. The evil of racism has been a very familiar presence in my life, but the visual depictions, video images, and sudden “awakening” of people around me was exhausting.
By mid-2020, I found myself literally trying to hold it all together. At times, I would curl up under a blanket on the same spot of my sofa, wrapped as tightly as possible in an attempt to hold on to…something. I needed to feel anchored, like I wouldn’t disintegrate under the weight of it all. Eventually, I was able to connect with a wonderful therapist who could help me navigate my anxiety and depression. We have been able to explore the impact of the pandemic on all of the pressures I experienced before 2020. I’m so thankful for my therapist, yet I recognize how many people, particularly people from Black and Brown communities, lack access to mental health services and care. And even in the presence of access, there can be a stigma associated with seeking help. How many times have we heard we should take our troubles to God in prayer? Now, I’ve definitely done just that, and my prayer life helped me TREMENDOUSLY. Honestly, I see my therapist and the journey I’ve been on with her as the answer to those prayers.
So, what should fundraisers and nonprofit leaders do to help our communities and be part of the solution for them?
Take care of your teams: I once had a team member who had a hard time saying no to anyone, including me. I realized no matter how much he had on his plate, he would do whatever was asked of him. People quickly recognized this trait and regularly volunteered (volun-told) him to join committees and take on special projects. I had fears about the impact of this on him both at work and in his personal life, so we introduced a temp check during our weekly check-ins. We would discuss how he felt and how I could support him to set healthy boundaries with overzealous peers looking for his support. By creating the space, we were able to talk about how he was REALLY doing, and we established some tools and organization-wide policies to help create boundaries to protect his time and his peace. As nonprofit leaders, make sure you check in regularly with your team members to understand how they’re doing and what they need.
Take care of yourselves: Contrary to what we may think, we don’t have to just “get by.” In fact, we can serve our organizations, our teams, our families, and our friends better if we take care of ourselves. We all know the airplane oxygen mask analogy, right? This applies here. Stay tuned in with yourself so you are aware when you need support, and then prioritize getting it.
Consider your participants’ mental health needs: No matter your mission, the communities you serve likely have mental health needs that you can support. Perhaps youth in your program can use support in practicing mindfulness. Perhaps parents would enjoy support groups to help them navigate and learn positive discipline practices. Whoever you serve, programs can check in with participants to understand how you can support them mentally and emotionally.
Who is doing this work?
Here are some organizations doing important work to support Black and Brown communities in accessing mental health care:
Black Mental Health Alliance
The Okra Project
Therapy for Black Girls
Therapy for Black Men
Black Women’s Health Imperative
Melanin & Mental Health