How to Ask for Money Part 3: Trust (and Respect) the Process
Has anyone ever lived with a die-hard sports fan? I may or may not have married into a family full of Philadelphia sports fans - Eagles, Flyers, Phillies, Sixers, Union, all Philadelphia teams. Every town loves their teams, but Philly fans have a well-earned reputation for extra, um, zeal. If you’re a Philly sports fan (or you know one), you know about the excitement that Sixers Center and Power Forward Joel Embiid brought to the franchise. He plays hard, he trolls even harder on social media, and he has his own catch phrase to capture how he always comes through in the clutch - Trust the Process.
There are many instances when trusting a scenario to play out will be the best course of action, and fundraising is no different. After you do your research and prepare for a donor meeting, and after you make The Ask, it’s time to listen and then wait to see how your donor responds - Trust the Process.
If they say no: First, say thank you for their time. Respect their response. You can ask some clarifying questions to better understand why they are not able to make a gift at this time. Maybe there is an issue of timing and you can follow up at a later date. Perhaps the amount isn’t aligned with their capacity right now, so there could be an opening for further discussion. Whatever the reply, thank them for spending time with you and invite them to stay connected. Continue to invite them to engage with you in ways that meaningfully align with their priorities.
If they say yes: First, say thank you for their time and for their commitment. Eventually you’ll need to follow up on some logistical details - gift agreements, collections, acknowledgments, etc. - but the first order of business should be to expressive your gratitude and then focus on continuing to build a strong relationship based on the mission you are partnering to advance.
In many ways, this is the phase when the real fundraising work begins.
Like any relationship, an authentic relationship with a funder requires care and nurturing. It must never feel one-sided or transactional, and everyone involved has to feel valued for what they bring. What will make your funding relationship last? The same things it takes in any other relationship:
Connection: Find opportunities for regular connection beyond asking for a gift and the logistics of getting that gift. Invite them for visits. Share updates on your work. Reach out to check in.
Consistency: You ever know someone who only reaches out when they need something from you? It doesn’t feel great, right? This scenario is one to avoid with funders. Be intentional about reaching out for non transactional donor interactions, and do so consistently.
Confidence: The real reason any donor decides to make a gift is because they trust your organization to get results that make a meaningful impact. Continue to focus on your work and serving those who benefit from it, and your donors will continue to support you.
Making an ask can seem daunting, but with preparation and with some relationship basics you can build connections that will help your organization do good in your community.