How to Ask for Money Part 1: Know Before You Go
One of the most common remarks I get from people when they find out I’m a fundraiser is, “So, you just ask people for money? What do you even say?” When you think about it, it’s not just a question. Instead, it’s also an expression of the discomfort people feel about the very idea of asking people for money.
And I totally get it.
In our society, people are rewarded for “pulling themselves up by their bootstraps.” There’s little acknowledgement that some people are born without straps or boots. In fact, those that reach certain accomplishments often do so because of earned and unearned advantages and privileges. Some come from generational wealth or have an easier time accessing networks because of their family’s social status. Others are able to overcome disadvantages more readily due to the color of their skin, their gender, their ability, and any other position of privilege. Experiences of privilege (and of being denied access to privilege) can influence our relationship with money and, therefore, what it’s like to ask someone else for a gift, even if you’re asking on behalf of an impactful organization making a difference in your community.
So, yeah, I totally get it.
I know I bring all of my past experiences into the room when I’m making a solicitation, and I have had to reckon with that in order to do my job well. Correction, I still reckon with it. And I know it’s hard for so many others too.
But it can be done and I want to share some practical tips to help anyone who participates in the solicitation process. These tips can be especially useful for fundraisers who are navigating spaces that may be unfamiliar or where they may feel othered as they engage with donors. These steps will help you feel prepared, anchored, and ready to build relationships with your donors and ultimately make The Ask.
One important secret to solicitation success - a lot of the work happens before you actually ask for a gift. All of the things that occur prior to your solicitation visit are just as important as what happens when you actually ask for the donation. In fact, if you spend enough time laying a solid relationship foundation, the solicitation will emerge as part of an ongoing conversation about mutual partnership to do good. In the best situations, they ask you what they can do to help and you have to be ready to answer.
Here are some things to consider before your solicitation visit:
What do you need to know before you make an ask?: Many of you may be familiar with the stages of donor cultivation. While there are various versions, most include some combination of the following: identification, qualification / research, cultivation, solicitation, and stewardship / appreciation. The cultivation and stewardship stages should take most of your time as they focus on building and maintaining the donor relationship. Prior to a donor visit, you should conduct some research that helps you understand your prospects and their priorities. Ideally, you can also find some ways to connect them with other members of your team and your program. Some meaningful cultivation activities can include a visit to your program or joining a virtual event. After cultivating and getting to know them, you should have a sense of who they are and why your organization is a good fit for the work they want to do.
What do you need to know before you ask?: In other words, what asking scenario will make you specifically most comfortable? Everyone loves those personality tests you can take online. “What food item are you?” or “Which character from Insecure are you?” ** side note I’m a solid Issa, by the way** There actually is an online quiz for fundraisers to give them insight into how they might approach the ask. The site, called Asking Matters, has a free quiz to let you know if you are one of four types of fundraisers - a Rain Maker, Go Getter, Mission Controller, or Kindred Spirit. It’s a useful (and fun) tool that can help you understand what you specifically need and what your shortcomings may be. Do you care most about connecting with donors about the mission, but are nervous when the time comes to actually ask for a gift? Are you never scared to ask for the gift, but you sometimes forget to take time to build those relationships? This tool can help you know how to strategize and prepare in advance.
What are you going to ask them for? Remember the best case scenario I mentioned, where the donor asks YOU what they can do to help? That encounter is best if you have an answer ready when they ask. And the best case scenario is actually one where they already have an idea of how they can meaningfully support your work by the time you get to the solicitation meeting. That’s why all the work that takes place during the cultivation phase is so important. During that time, you should have an opportunity to share more about your organization’s vision and what you need to advance it. Are you hoping to expand your summer program to serve more students? Do you want to host a large conference for peer organizations to offer them professional development? Do you have specific community organizing needs? Whatever your needs are, use the cultivation period to connect potential donors with the areas of the work that resonates with them. You also can use this time to engage more people across the organization in the fundraising process. Make sure program staff get to be meaningful participants in your visits. In fact, it’s best if you can meet with staff outside of the development team in advance of the donor visit. Plan some opportunities for your prospects to meet the team, learn about what brings them to the work and their vision for the future. When your prospects see the vision and connect with the people it impacts the most, that’s when the magic happens.
Who all is going to be there? Isn’t that your first question when you are going to any social event (or is that just me)? When you go to visit a donor to make an ask, you need to ask yourself the same question. Will it be a one-on-one conversation? Will the potential donor have family members or colleagues with them? And who will come with you to make the ask from your organization? Some experts believe nonprofits are most successful when they bring two people. My personal preference is to bring another team member who is either most connected to the prospect or the person the potential donor connected the most during their time with you. The goal is for the conversation to be comfortable and enjoyable for everyone. Before you head out to make the ask, meet with your team member to strategize the conversation a bit. Get clear on your intended outcomes, specific asks, key points of connection, and generally who will cover which parts of the conversation. If you are new to making an ask, you may even want to practice or role play. With that said, as much as practice makes perfect, you also should prepare to go with the flow of the conversation. Again, your conversation should be enjoyable and comfortable. So prepare, but don’t choreograph too much.
If this is the first conversation… don’t ask yet. The best conversations happen organically and are part of a growing relationship with your donors. If you haven’t established a rapport, the time may not be right and more work needs to be done to truly get to know them. Here are some ideas for breaking the ice and getting to know your prospects:
Invite them somewhere: Everyone likes to be invited and included. Invite them to visit your program or to join you at a special event. During these encounters, introduce them to the people who do the work and the people impacted. Center your mission and your community.
Share information: If you already know that they are interested in your mission, share information about your work, your mission area, or anything else that may be of interest. If your organization creates content for other experts, share your report, blog post, or any other content.
Ask for advice: Donors are often more than happy to help in ways beyond giving a donation. Reach out to them to seek their advice about areas where they have knowledge and expertise.
These tips will help you prepare for the meeting where you will ultimately make the ask. In part two, we’ll walk through that meeting and finally, FINALLY, answer the question everyone asks - “So, what do you actually SAY?!?!”